Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Top Ten To Look Forward To in 2011

Before I get into the Top Ten horror releases that I'm looking forward to in the next year... err, well, eleven months, I'd like to issue an apology to all of my imaginary readers out there who have been clamoring for me to update this bitch at a far more frequent pace.

10.  The Last Lovecraft:  The Relic of Cthulu - February 15



Coming in at number ten is a film that will be coming out on DVD in just under two weeks.  To be completely honest, I was never really one for HP Lovecraft or any of the Cthulhu mythology, up until a couple of years ago when I saw The Mist.  After reading up on The Mist online, and reading some of what Stephen King had to say about the original short story, it appeared that it was heavily influenced by Lovecraft.  Since then I've been all about the Cthulhu.  Now The Last Lovecraft is a movie that, judging by the highly entertaining trailer, is going to put a light hearted spin on Cthulhu.  My only concern is that I'm not sure if the low production values and shoestring budget will be an endearing quality, or a turnoff by the end of the flick.

9.  Paranormal Activity 3 - October 21, 2011

The Paranormal Activity series is really an anomaly.  Nobody expected the first one to do well.  In fact, it was originally bought from Oren Peli to be remade as a "hollywood" movie instead of two unemployed actors dicking around in the director's house.  But enough people demanded it that it got a wide release and did all kinds of ridiculous numbers at the box office.  Then Paranormal Activity 2 came out and was supposed to suck.  It had a bigger budget.  It had an actress that we've actually seen before.  And what could they do with a first person ghost story that they didn't do in the first movie?  And then I saw it and I think my reaction was SHIIIIIIIIIIITTTT.  It built on the first movie perfectly and packed quite a few scares. 

But now allow me to be a big hypocrite.  If I thought Paranormal Activity 3 had any shot at being as good of a movie as either of the first two, it would be much higher up on the list.  But I just don't see it happening.  The way PA2 ended, leaves very few paths to tread storyline wise, and will most likely have to leave behind the claustrophobic confines of being trapped in a home.  I just don't see them pulling it off.  But, on that note, I'll be there on opening night to check it out.

8.  Rise of the Apes - November 23, 2011

The next film in the Planet of the Apes saga has me cautiously optimistic.  The original Planet of the Apes movies were a big part of my childhood.  I have a lot fond memories of watching the first three movies with my father at a pretty young age, and getting hooked on them.  Hell, I even got him a Dr. Zaius doll for Christmas one year.  This movie, thankfully, will be completely ignoring the Tim Burton abortion that starred Markie Mark.  Instead, it will tell the story of how the apes took control back from the humans.  I think it's in pretty good hands as it's starring James Franco, John Lithgow and Freida Pinto.  They've all done some pretty spectacular work, so hopefully they'll be able to put Tim Burton's vision to bed once and for all.

7.  Shark Night 3D - September 02, 2011



I wasn't sure about putting this movie on the list because the premise is absolutely absurd.  A tidal wave hits and a town is flooded, forcing people to band together to try and survive against a ton of man eating sharks until the water recedes.  It's no Citizen Kane but it's got a few things going for it.  For one, it's being directed by David R. Ellis, who knows how to make a fun ass movie.  He's brought us Final Destination 2, Cellular and Snakes on a Plane.  Are any of them great movies?  Absolutely not.  But they're all fun to watch, and feature some nifty ass kills.  This movie looks like it has potential to be what I hoped and prayed that Pirahna 3D was last year.  Piranha let me down.  Hopefully this one doesn't. 

Tied for 5.  Apollo 18 - April 22, 2011 and Super 8 - June 10, 2011

We've got a tie for fifth place, because I have similar expectations for these two movies.  They are both alien movies that plan on utilizing the "found footage" gimmick in the vein of a Blair Witch Project, or a Cloverfield.  I tried to decide which one I was more eagerly anticipating, but I just couldn't do it.  The fact that Apollo 18 is actually being made because of a real life video that was allegedly shot while on a mission to space (that was "officially" cancelled by NASA) gives it some serious points with me.  But then, there's Super 8, the concept of which is also based on events from the late 70's/early 80's.  Legend has it that a bunch of kids were playing around with an old Super 8 camera, and when they rewatched the tape they noticed something of extraterrestrial origin on the tape watching them play around.  That will supposedly serve as the jumping off point for this film.  As far as whether it really happened or not?  There's no way to prove it, but it's available on the internet.  Look for it and see for yourself.

4.  Rubber - February 25, 2011




I love when I watch a movie for the first time and I can honestly say afterwards that I had never seen a movie like that before.  I'm confident that when I get my hands on Rubber that will be my exact reaction.  It's gotten rave review as it's made the festival rounds, so you're probably asking what the hell is it about?  Well, it's about a tire.  That kills people.  A homicidal rubber tire.  You might be asking yourself, why the hell would this be the #4 movie that I'm looking forward to (actually, I'm sure you're not because I'm sure nobody is reading this)?  Here's the thing.  People always complain about the lack of originality in the movies today.  It's either torture porn (a fad thats thankfully dying), a slasher flick, a remake or a combination of all three.  So when there's something as truly original as Rubber I have to see it, and you guys should to.  Who knows, maybe it will do really well and the studios will start giving us some more original R-Rated horror.

3.  Drive Angry 3D - February 25, 2011

Another February release, and this is one that I'm really friggin pumped for.  Say what?  I'm excited for Nick Cage film?  Absolutely.  This is where Nick Cage is at his best.  An adrenaline feuled shoot 'em up full of car wrecks, escapes from hell, gratuitous sex, blood and guts.  This won't be his epic meltdown scene in The Wicker Man, or his terrible acting in Knowing.  I don't see exposition being a big priority for this movie.  It was shot in 3d, as opposed to the post converted bullshit that they just release in 3d to make a few more bucks off us.  This is going to kick all sorts of ass.  And it never hurts to have super hot Amber Heard in a starring role.

2.  Mother's Day - April 1, 2011

Here's the rare occurence where I have absolutely no problem with the movie being a remake.  Who gives a shit about the original Mother's Day?  Not me.  So go ahead, remake it and make me care about it.  Here's what I'm looking forward to most about it.  From early reviews I've read, it appears that it is going to feature hyper realistic violence.  I love Jason Voorhees splitting heads with a machete as much as the next guy, but it's very rare that you get a movie that is just ugly, for lack of a better term.  Everything is scarier when it's something that's possible in reality.  Zombies crowding around you and picking you apart bone by bone...  scary visual, but it doesn't really sink in on any real level.  A group of hardened escaped criminals that just invade your home, hold you against your will and use ultraviolence to force their will upon you?  Yeah, that's scary because it could actually happen.

1.  Scream 4 - April 15, 2011



And coming in at number one, is Scream 4.  The Scream trilogy was one of my first real forays into the horror genre, but it was a series that had definitely run it course and ended at the right time.  But now, it's ten years later and it's fresh again.  The Scream trilogy managed to be effective horror films, while also parodying all of the horror cliches and classic pitfalls of the slasher genre.  Now we're ten years removed, and we've gotten a steady diet of torture porn and remakes.  I for one, hope that Kevin Williamson can recapture the magic and usher in a new Scream trilogy that manages to be just as self-referential as the originals, but also just as scary.

So, there you go.  Agree with me?  Wondering what the hell I'm smoking?  Let me know.